This story is near and dear to my heart not only as a doula but as Tricia's best friend. I remember her as a young girl coming to me and telling me her news and since then I have watched her struggle and face infertility with grace and strength. I've seen her hide away from it too, and I am so so proud of her today for sharing her story with the world! Let us come together and share our stories, from sharing comes strength.
Many individuals and couples struggle with the painful reality of infertility. This is my story, this is my husbands story.
For me the story started when I was fairly young. I remember being in the doctors office and being told I had a medical condition called Turner Syndrome. I remember even at the young age I was that all I took away from that appointment was the knowledge, I was infertile.
For years I went on not fully letting the weight of that knowledge close to me. No big deal I could adopt, right?
As I grew older and my closest friends started families, I was witness to the pregnancies and births of many little miracles. As truly happy as I was for those little miracles, I'd be lying if I didn't say how much my heart ached for my own loss. And I say loss because that's exactly what it is. I believe that's when I first experienced the true grief and loss of infertility. Even through watching my closet friends bring little bundles of joy into the world, it was still OK, there was still hope that I would have that too. After all I could always adopt, right? It wasn't till l met my now husband and things between us began to get serious did the second blow of the heartache that is infertility hit. I remember the painful conversation of telling him a family of our own wasn't possible. I remember him holding me while I cried. I remember his reassuring words that it didn't matter because it was me he loved! I also remember feeling like less of a woman because this is what I was suppose to do, right? Bring a child into the world for us.
Infertility can be an incredibly painful and lonely thing to overcome. It can also be one that brings growth, strength, acceptance and a tremendous amount of love. I've been blessed with amazing family and friends. And through all my life experiences one thing that I've learned is that family is truly about more than biology! For those of us that struggle with infertility there are options, many options! We just have to open our hearts 💕