This is Katie's story and what I love about it, is that it's not your average story. How many people experienced infertility after their first child was born? Her story shows the ugly parts that can come along with this journey, but also the surprising ones too. A big thank you to Katie for sharing her story!
When my husband and I decided it was time to start our family together we both thought “great, no more birth control and in a couple of months we will be pregnant.” Those couple of months turned into a year. I spoke to my family Dr and he just said to me to “stop stressing and it will happen.” Six months later I went back to him and asked that he send me to a professional that will hear my concerns and help me.
I managed to get into a fertility clinic within a couple of months. After three months of blood work done throughout my cycle the Dr decided my best option would be to try clomid. I was feeling very hopefully. I took my first dose of clomid, and three weeks later I found out I was pregnant. We both were very excited. I had a very easy pregnancy but a little scary delivery. We were blessed with a beautiful baby boy.
You are probably thinking to yourself “how can she say that she experienced infertility” When I was trying for my first baby I thought I knew what it felt like to experience infertility, it wasn’t until we decided to try for our second baby that we REALLY experienced infertility.
We both wanted 3 years between our children so once our son turned two we started trying again, without any clomid. After six months of disappointment and tears I met with my new family doctor and told him what we had dealt with the first time trying to conceive. My doctor referred me to a new fertility doctor. I was on a wait list for three months to see this specialist which was frustrating and the longest three months. Once I met with the fertility dr, he was against me using clomid, he had done some drug studies and found a different fertility drug to help women conceive.
We started the blood work regime again and also a week of internal ultra sounds when they felt I was going to ovulate. For three months I took the meds, blood work and ultrasounds. The Dr was very puzzled as to why I wasn’t getting pregnant. I was ovulating on the meds and my husbands sperm count was good. I was getting more frustrated as time went on because hearing “we just can’t figure out why” not only the disappointment, frustration, time and money spent but the emotional roller coaster I was feeling.
After three months of frustration and disappointment, my Dr, my husband and I decided to try the “sperm wash” method. I was to continue to take the meds, blood work and ultrasounds and when the nurse told me what day was my “most fertile” I was to bring in my husband specimen in and they would “wash” it and then insert it into me. Great! I thought this is going to work. Three months of this treatment and 3000.00 later we were not pregnant and even more discouraged.
The next treatment that my Dr recommended was IVF. My husband and I had to have a lot of talks about this treatment not just because of the cost but the effects the fertility drugs were having on me…some days I felt like I was experiencing “out of body” moments. I was moody, gaining weight, my hair and nail were dry and I didn’t feel “right”. After a month of a lot of tears and talks we decided we would try IVF. We took out a line of credit because we didn’t have the thirteen thousand dollars to start the treatment.
Cycle one of daily injections and oral medication were hard mainly because I hate needles so having to inject myself was uncomfortable but I got over it and my husband helped when he could. We were feeling very hopeful and praying this would work. My Dr had a very positive attitude and kept our hopes up throughout the first month. On day 14 of my cycle I was at the clinic bright and early, had the procedure done then went home and laid with my legs elevated for most of the day (as instructed). Then the waiting game started and on day 28 I woke up to the most heart wrenching disappointment. I was not pregnant and with all the medications I was having the worst menstrual cycle ever. I had to take three days off work, more because of my emotional state. My husband and I decided we would do one more cycle and if we didn’t get pregnant then we would stop treatment. We decided that we had tried for close to three years and had spent thirty thousand dollars and our son was almost six and we were emotionally done. Cycle two of IVF was much more emotional for me, I cried a lot and felt depressed. I spoke to my doctor about this and he said that it was the medications. We finished cycle two and were confident it “worked” this time. Well, it didn’t, we were in debt from trying and emotionally burnt out. We thanked our doctor for his time and efforts and told him we were done trying. My Doctor was very understanding and he told us he was puzzled and frustrated because my infertility was “unexplained” because with the medications I ovulated and the IVF should have worked.
My husband and I decided that we would no longer worry about birth control seeing that we couldn’t get pregnant with “help” and if we did get pregnant then we would be excited.I was 34 and my husband was 39. We would explain to our son when he would ask “why can’t you have a baby” that we tried very hard to have a baby but we can’t and that we were very lucky to have him. I won’t lie and tell you that every month I wasn’t disappointed when I would get my menstrual cycle. I would pray and hope every month. Finally after two years I said to my husband “ I am mentally done trying and I’m going to talk to my doctor” I was to the point in my life that I felt I didn’t want to find out at 45 I was pregnant. I went to my doctor and spoke to him and he completely understood where I was coming from but he also told me he could see a weight lifted off me. It wasn’t until he said that, that I did feel the weight was less, I wasn’t stressed anymore and I was in the “right” place mentally to say “ I’m done”. My doctor and I discussed what were the best options for me. The first option was for my husband to get a vasectomy, which I knew would never happen. My hubby is a BIG wimp when it comes to doctors. My doctor and I decided my best option was to have a IUD inserted. My doctor wanted me to see a gynecologist prior to having this IUD put in because of all the fertility medication I had taken, I could have cysts growing or other medical issues. I met with the new gynecologist and he sent me for four different tests. I had the first three tests done from the beginning of my cycle and then I was to come back after I had my next period so that I could have the last test done. I went home and ordered my IUD from the pharmacy picked it up so that after my last test I could have it inserted the following week.
WELL, I’m happy to say I never had that last test done and never had the IUD insert because I never got my menstrual cycle that month! That's right I was PREGNANT!!! I was shocked and cried a lot. I wasn’t crying happy tears, I was crying “this wasn’t this plan” tears. I felt terrible feeling this way after so many years but once I had wrapped my head around not having another baby I wasn’t ready for the news that I was going to have a baby. I’m happy to tell you my emotions balanced out and I became VERY happy to be pregnant and in November 2014 we welcomed a baby girl to our family. We did not find out the sex of our baby during the pregnancy, we felt it was a surprise at the beginning why not keep that surprise going and we were so surprised to have a girl! I was worried that my son who was 9 when his sister was born wouldn’t develop the bond I was hoping for with his sister. I was so wrong and they are so in love with each other and I feel that the age difference was the best thing for my son.
I hope reading my story will help with what your experiencing or have gone through.